Urgent: 66Samus Wants You to Record and Send in Your Farts

YouTuber, Decrepit Birth drummer, session musician, multi-instrumentalist and generally talented fella Samus “66Samus” Paulicelli is facing a very serious problem.

Samus just obtained a new keyboard that doesn’t have any samples on it. Like any good boy would, he’s going to fill up one of the keyboard’s sound banks entirely with farts… and he wants to enlist your help!

In a new video message on Instagram, Samus has put out a call for his fans to send recordings of their own farts to import into his new keyboard. His plea for poots went as follows:

“Hey guys, guess what, I need your help. I got this new keyboard here but I don’t have any samples to throw on it.

“So this is where you guys come in. I need fart samples, you guys. Please send me your farts. I’m gonna give you guys one week. Mmkay?

“Please keep your phone next to you at all times and in case you feel a nice fart coming please record it for me. Mmkay?

“You can send me videos or an audio recording, like an mp3. Pretty much as long as it’s playable on a Windows computer I’ll be able to use your fart.

“Please submit your farts to [email protected]. You have one week. Start rippin’!”

Never before has the true power of the internet been harnessed in such a monumentally critical way, the ultimate crowdsource of flatulence.

You heard the guy — get tootin!