Stryper’s Michael Sweet Says Cardi B’s “WAP” Is “Sh*t”

Everyone better hold on to their butts, because Stryper frontman Michael Sweet has a HOT TAKE on “WAP,” the recent single from Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion.

Shockingly, the leader of the biggest Christian metal band of all time is somehow NOT a fan of the song, the title of which stands for “Wet-Ass Pussy.”

Said Sweet after the track debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart:

“Call me old fashioned but when I think of my grandkids listening to this and singing along to this piece of I get a little heated. Why do we work so hard for equal rights and respect (especially for woman as we should!) yet we make a pile like this #1 and step backwards instead of forward? Am I being harsh?? Am I the only one who feels this way???Anything goes now and we’re completely desensitized folks. Absolutely pathetic……”

Well, Old Fashioned, I tell ya what: you are being harsh, but you’re probably not the only one who feels this way. I mean, I don’t feel this way, but I know the world is full of aging Caucasians with sticks up their asses, so I’m sure there are other people who agree with you.

But also, Old Fashioned, I would question why you argue the song is a “step backwards” for the “equal rights and respect” of women. Men have been singing sexually explicit songs objectifying women since forever. And yet, I cannot find a single public statement from you condemning any of those songs. That seems like a double standard to me.

Finally, Old Fashioned, your statement makes me question your relationship with your family. For one thing, your grandkids appear to be exceedingly young. I would also find them singing along with this song to be troubling, but right now I imagine they’re pretty much sticking to “Wheels on the Bus” and the Moana soundtrack. So your concern isn’t a concern, it’s an alarmist nightmare tantamount to politicians who think metal and rock music “corrupt our nation’s youth.”

Why wouldn’t you talk to your grandkids about this kind of thing if it bothers you so much? For that matter, why not talk to your kids — y’know, your grandkids’ parents — about it? Do you have such little faith in their parenting abilities? And if you do, doesn’t that mean you actually have little faith in the job you did as a parent?

You’ve given up all agency here, Old Fashioned, and it makes me think you really need to take a deep breath and just, like, calm the fuck down. The world has a lot of problems. Your grandkids have the ongoing effects of climate change and possibly the death of democracy to look forward to. Cardi B should not be your primary, secondary, or tertiary concern right now.