Five Finger Death Punch Have a Personal Masseuse on Tour with Them
Next time you read an interview with Five Finger Death Punch about how they’re just like the working man, how they understand your struggle, how they support the troops fighting hard for your freedom, remember this: the band brings a masseuse on tour with them! A person whose full-time job it is to give shoulder rubs to Ivan Moody when he gets grumpy and to get those kinks out of that Zoltan guy’s neck when his dreads weigh heavily on one side and cause misalignment in his vertebrae.
The revelation came in an interview guitarist Jason Hook (ex-Mandy Moore, ex-Hilary Duff) gave to Virginia radio station FM99, in which he bemoaned the difficulties of the touring lifestyle:
“Well, actually, these days, it’s pretty good. I mean, we’re spoiled. Each of us has an assistant and our own dressing rooms and we have a masseuse.
“We kind of had this conversation a long time ago that being in a band and being on tour shouldn’t suck. It’s hard to explain to the public, but there are many micro frustrations that come with changing cities and changing buildings every day. Just micro frustrations — these are not real problems. A brain tumor is a real problem. The air conditioning in the room every day is not a real problem. But it’s frustrating. So if you don’t know how to process all this change — this constant change — if you don’t know how to process it, it can burn you out a little bit, emotionally. But we fight through it.”
To be fair, I totally understand what Hook is saying — it IS tough to constantly be traveling, no matter how comfortable you are — and at least he has the self-awareness to admit the band is spoiled and that his problems are ultimately unimportant. Still, given the band’s image as working class everymen, that’s something you might be better off keeping to yourself, ya know?
If any masseuses out there are looking for work, we’re currently accepting applications for a full time massage therapist at The MetalSucks Mansion. You’ll be paid only in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but Axl will make them all himself, and let me tell you, the dude makes a mean PB&J.
Five Finger Death Punch will tour Europe this winter with Megadeth and Bad Wolves, and the U.S. in the spring with Papa Roach, I Prevail and Ice Nine Kills. By clicking the “Tickets” links next to each date you’ll help ensure that the MetalSucks Masseuse will get an upgrade to ramen noodles for every meal.
With Megadeth and Bad Wolves:
Jan. 20 – Helsinki, Finland @ Hartwell Arena [Tickets]
Jan. 22 – Stockholm, Sweden @ Hovet [Tickets]
Jan. 23 – Oslo, Nrway @ Spektrum [Tickets]
Jan. 24 – Copenhagen, Denmark @ Royal Arena [Tickets]
Jan. 26 – Amsterdam, Netherlands @ AFAS Live [Tickets]
Jan. 28 – Paris, France @ Zenith [Tickets]
Jan. 30 – Cardiff, U.K. @ Cardiff Arena [Tickets]
Jan. 31 – London, U.K. @ Wembley Arena [Tickets]
Feb. 03 – Berlin, Germany @ Max-Schmeling Halle [Tickets]
Feb. 04 – Hamburg, Germany @ Sporthalle [Tickets]
Feb. 06 – Frankfurt, Germany @ Festhalle [Tickets]
Feb. 08 – Oberhausen, Germany @ Koenig-Pilsener Arena [Tickets]
Feb. 09 – Stuttgart, Germany @ Schleyerhalle [Tickets]
Feb. 10 – Munich, Germany @ Olympiahalle [Tickets]
Feb. 12 – Warsaw, Poland @ Torwar [Tickets]
Feb. 14 – Prague, Czech Republic @ Tipsport Arena [Tickets]
Feb. 16 – Milan, Italy @ Alcatrazz [Tickets]
Feb. 17 – Zurich, Switzerland @ Hallenstadion [Tickets]
Feb. 19 – Vienna, Austria @ Stadthalle [Tickets]
Feb. 20 – Budapest, Hungary @ Budapest Sportarena [Tickets]
With Papa Roach, I Prevail and Ice Nine Kills:
4/8 – Sunrise, FL // BB&T Center [Tickets]
4/10 – Duluth, GA // Infinite Energy Center [Tickets]
4/11 – Pelham, AL // Oak Mountain Amphitheater [Tickets]
4/13 – San Antonio, TX // AT&T Center [Tickets]
4/14 – Ft. Worth, TX // Dickies Arena [Tickets]
4/16 – Houston, TX // Toyota Center [Tickets]
4/18 – Phoenix, AZ // Talking Stick Resort Arena [Tickets]
4/19 – San Diego, CA // Viejas Arena [Tickets]
4/21 – Los Angeles, CA // The Forum [Tickets]
4/23 – Tacoma, WA // Tacoma Dome [Tickets]
4/25 – Portland, OR // Veteran Memorial Coliseum [Tickets]
4/27 – Morrison, CO // Red Rocks Amphitheatre [Tickets]
4/29 – Kansas City, MO // Sprint Center [Tickets]
5/3 – Baltimore, MD // Royal Farms Arena [Tickets]
5/5 – Worcester, MA // DCU Cente [Tickets]
5/6 – Newark, NJ // Prudential Center [Tickets]
5/8 – Cincinnati, OH // Heritage Bank Center [Tickets]
5/12 – Detroit, MI // Little Caesars Arena [Tickets]
5/14 – Pittsburgh, PA // PPG Paints Center [Tickets]
5/15 – Camden, NJ // BB&T Pavilion [Tickets]
5/17 – Nashville, TN // Bridgestone Arena [Tickets]
5/19 – Rosemont, IL // Allstate Arena [Tickets]
5/20 – St. Paul, MN // Xcel Energy Center [Tickets]
[via Metal Injection]
