Mötley Crüe Owe You All Free Tickets #neverforget

Mötley Crüe have announced their reunion a mere four years after what was supposed to be their farewell tour. They went to such great lengths to convince people that they were never gonna tour again that in 2014 they even had a publicity stunt wherein they signed a  “cessation of touring” contract, which was supposed to mean that if they ever did tour again, they could be sued. That little move was always ridiculous, because it was never clear who would sue them for reneging on the agreement (which I’d wager was never legally binding in the first place).

What is perfectly clear, though, is that guitarist Mick Mars offered us all free tickets to see the band should they ever come out retirement.

Appearing on That Metal Show shortly after the group signed their little contract (video below), Mars said that should the band ever go back on their vow to call it quits, “I will invite the world to come for free.” Which means that as of this past Monday, Mick Mars owes all of us free Mötley Crüe tickets.

Speaking as someone who has been owed a free Dr. Pepper for eleven years, I know this will never happen (and not that anything he said was actionable, but if I was Mick’s lawyer, I’d argue that the guitarist’s phrasing was vague, and what he was actually saying was that it would cost him nothing to invite the world to attend, not that he’d invite people to attend free of charge). Still, I think everyone should remind Mars of it every chance they get. Go to the show with a banner that says “MICK OWES ME FREE TICKETS.” If you purchase a VIP meet n’ greet package, ask him to Venmo you a refund. Like, what’s he gonna do? He’s a 4’7″ septuagenarian with a bone disorder that renders him nearly immobile. It’s not like I’m suggesting you present Tommy Lee with a Father of the Year statue. That dude could probably beat you to death just with his schlong.

[via Classic Rock]