Corey Taylor Says He “Blew Out” His Left Testicle While Singing Dokken

And now an important message from Corey Taylor, The Most Fascinating and Important Man of All Time™:

Working on my ‘87 Dokken high notes this morning. Fucked around and blew out the left testicle. Careful on re-entry, kids. #kissofdeath #pissinblood

— fuck your checkmark (@CoreyTaylorRock) May 29, 2019

Wow. A LOT to unpack here!

Okay, so, first of all: OUCH.

Second of all, nobody should be concerned that an injury to one or more of the singer’s gonads may mean an end to the brave and noble Taylor lineage: Corey already has a male heir. He even sings! PHEW!

Third of all, I suspect Corey was just joshin’. I’m not a nut doctor, but I don’t think you can actually damage your dumplings from singing.

Fourth of all, if Corey is not kidding, I really hope he went directly to a urologist. Blood in the urine is no joke, dude — it could be a sign of a very serious problem! Please take care of yourself! THE WORLD DESPERATELY NEEDS YOU!!!

And finally, I love how unabashedly Corey loves glam metal. This tweet will probably increase streams of Dokken’s “Kiss of Death” by about eighteen-trillion percent.

Speaking of which: whether you’ve never heard “Kiss of Death” before or you just wanna revisit the majesty that is the opening track of 1987’s Back for the Attack, the song is below. The note that I imagine cracked Corey’s crown jewel comes around 4:33.

[via Kerrang!]