Former Slipknot Member Anders Colsefni Says He Won’t Be Replacing Chris Fehn

Since Chris Fehn parted ways with Slipknot last week, Maggots everywhere have had but one question on their minds: “But what does Anders Colsefni think?”

Good news: we have an answer now. Despite having Corey Taylor’s seal of approval, Colsefni, the band’s former vocalist and percussionist, has made it clear that he won’t be re-joining Slipknot to replace Fehn.

Says Colsefni:

“Hello fellow Earthlings!

“I’m going to take away the uncomfortable conversations that Slipknot might have regarding myself and reported band vacancy by saying:

“I will NOT be rejoining Slipknot.

“It is certainly not for any animosity I have-I simply don’t know those guys anymore. I generally give those I don’t know the benefit of the doubt.

“I’ve spent the last 27 years (through each and every band) working concrete construction to support my family but still allow time for my ‘Real Job’ lol.

“After many years of failed bands, failed marriages, and plenty of others, I’ve settled into an occupation that I can retire from. I’m gonna need the bennies-my body is going to shit! Lol!

“As much as I had dreamed of rejoining my creation (shut up- I know it’s a different band now!) it is not enough of a dream anymore to risk being homeless when the tour is over!

“That being said, Painface [Colsefni’s current band] is still working behind the scenes. Look for us sometime this year!”

Although fans may be disappointed that Colsefni isn’t returning to the fold, they need not fret: MetalSucks has already provided Slipknot with an excellent list of appropriate candidates to replace Fehn, which we’re sure they have looked at and are now considering 110% super-duper seriously.