Mötley Crüe Release Two More Terrible New Songs

Netflix’s Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt hits the streaming service today, and I am beyond excited to watch it, even though I’m almost positive that it’s going to be disappointing. I mean, they may as well have tried to adapt Infinite Jest.

If the movie ends up being great, that would obviously be terrific! But if it does end up being a letdown, it should soften the blow somewhat that all of the music Mötley Crüe have recorded for its soundtrack is fucking awful. Like, easily the worst material of the band’s career. Yeah, I said it: I’ll take Generation Swine and New Tattoo over this drek.

Having already punished us with a “Dirt” song and a cover of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin,” the band have now released the second two of the four new songs recorded for the flick. One has the cringe-worthy title of “Ride with the Devil,” which seems like a painfully desperate attempt to prey on nostalgia for “Shout at the Devil” (or maybe they’re just massive Skeet Ulrich fans); it also references Too Fast for Love in the lyrics, and is the second of the four songs to contain the phrase “Just gimme the dirt.” On the whole it’s about as pleasant as a joyride with Vince Neil.

Speaking of Vince Neil and vehicular manslaughter, the other new song is called “Crash and Burn,” which seems like it’s in poor taste, but hey, the band already released a box set called Music to Crash Your Car To so whatever I guess. It’s probably the strongest of the four new songs, although that bar is so low it’s subterranean. It also features multiple references to “the dirt.” I guess the band was really nervous that people might forget why they were listening to this crap.

So yeah ugh. Hopefully the quality of this music isn’t an indication of the movie’s quality, too.