Slayer’s Kerry King Says He Was a Great Student “Until I Discovered Girls”

So Metal Hammer has a new interview with Kerry King that takes a deep dive into the Slayer guitarist’s childhood and adolescence. And while fans might like to picture a young Kerry King looking like this…

…to hear Kerry tell it, he was actually kinda closer to this:

Hard to believe, but true! King says he was getting As in math right up through the first semester of the 12th grade, even without the help of a service like FreeEssayWriters, and he “didn’t really know what rebelling was.”

So what changed? Says the King:

“I was really good at school until I discovered girls, and then it was all over. It’s a good thing I didn’t plan on college or anything because I probably would have failed miserably. I was such a smart kid, but once high school came around and girls were in the picture, the grades went south. I remember in Junior High, I got the math award for the entire school, so marks weren’t a problem, but once you put the tits and the pussy in the equation, school went right out the door.”

The discovery of sex has derailed many an academic career throughout the ages, and will surely derail many more before humanity is through. And when you think about it, it actually makes sense that a young Kerry would be good at math, because music is mathematical.

So, for me, at least, the most surprising aspect of this admission is that it didn’t lead to Kerry being in glam band. He’s the right age for it, and he’s from Los Angeles, which was glam central. Those bands existed almost solely for the purpose of getting laid, whereas thrash music, eh, not so much.

But, hey, obviously everything worked out well for Kerry… and for us fans. So thank you, “the tits and the pussy,” for pulling King’s attention away from math. You did us all a huge favor.

Read the rest of the interview here.