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Jered Threatin: “I Turned an Empty Room into an International Headline”

  • Axl Rosenberg
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The Jered Threatin story which has dominated the news cycle all week just keeps getting stranger and stranger.

Following MetalSucks’ revelations this morning that Threatin was born Jered Eames and “was in Abigail Williams for like a week in 2010” (Ken Sorceron’s words), the man who may turn out to be the music industry’s most notorious huckster since Milli Vanilli tweeted the following:

“What is Fake News? I turned an empty room into an international headline. If you are reading this, you are part of the illusion. “

OMG! Don’t we all feel like assholes now*? JERED THREATIN DID IT ALL TO TEACH US A LESSON ABOUT FAKE NEWS!!! He’s not a failed musician-turned-con artist, he’s a brilliant social critic!!! How did we not understand this all along?!?!?!

Look, I suppose it’s possible that Jered has pulled some genius Andy Kaufman-level performance art stunt here**. It’s also possible Axl Rose is going to call me later today and offer me a million dollars to be his official biographer. It seems improbable, but it’s not impossible.

Meanwhile, this morning’s article sent off a landslide of new sources contacting MetalSucks. Expect this story to somehow get even more bizarre in the next few days.

*Probably still smaller, less stinky assholes than a guy who sent out a graphic of his own quote, though.
**Although I’m not sure what the lesson/point would be; this doesn’t teach us anything about Fake News because it’s not Fake News — the fact that someone was able to trick so many other people using social media is an amazing, very much of-the-moment story. If he taught anyone a “lesson,” it’s the venues I guess? Maybe the lesson here is simply that people who unironically use the term ‘Fake News’ are generally full of Real Shit.

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