Nine Metal Bands That Need to Reunite, Pronto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26J0uDIGErM

The metal world is a clogged toilet overflowing with shit. Literally thousands of terrible bands continue to exist day in and day out, more often than not because their members don’t recognize the poor quality of their music.

And yet, despite this, some bands are actually talented, and have the good sense, or at least the crap luck, to call it a day before they’re over the hill. I completely respect and admire these musicians’ decision to step away from these projects.

Also, this decision makes me fucking furious and I want them to get back together right fucking now.

So, if I had nine suitcases full of money, these bands would all be coming soon to a venue near you (in alphabetical order, in case that isn’t readily apparent… I’m not playing favorites here).

Acid Bath

It seems like there are Acid Bath reunion rumors every few years, with the preventative issues being a) bassist Audie Pitre is deceased and b) vocalist Dax Riggs has declined to participate. Obviously there isn’t anything to be done about Pitre (R.I.P.), but maybe we can bribe Riggs back somehow? I mean, “with money” would be the obvious way to do this, but I meant something us poor metal fans can actually offer (besides our love and adoration, natch). Maybe a candy bar? I can definitely afford to buy Riggs a candy bar.

Burst

Well, at least we had the good fortune to get a farewell tour out of these dudes; too many of the bands on this list just peaced out. That’s about the only good thing I can say about them calling it quits. Their first U.S. tour was also their last, which might have been less sad if they weren’t so goddamn great live. And listening to Burst now, it’s apparent just how substantial their influence over mathcore, post-hardcore, progcore, and probably other miscellaneous ‘cores’ they had. They were metalcore, but not in the trendy-last-generation-of-Ozzfest way, in the actually-melding-metal-and-hardcore way.

I have no clue what any of these guys are doing now, but hopefully they have some vacation days saved up…

Fudge Tunnel

Fudge Tunnel had the unfortunate luck of being one of the best 90s alt-metal bands not to get attention from MTV and other mainstream media outlets. As a result, no one who went to college in the early/mid-90s will shut the fuck up about them already. In defense of those people, Fudge Tunnel were great. These days, it seems like Alex Newport is better known for Nailbomb and work as a producer (At the Drive-In, Death Cab for Cutie, etc.) than he is for Fudge Tunnel. Which is fine. But he should be known for Fudge Tunnel, too.

Genghis Tron

The Founding Fathers of Electrogrind were ahead of their time, if not exactly under-appreciated. We media folk, at least, fell all ourselves to praise what ended up being GT’s final release, Board Up the House, in 2008. But, hey, can you blame us? Genghis Tron were the shit, son. Their writing game elevated them beyond what might have otherwise seemed like a gimmick; tracks like “The Folding Road” and “Things Don’t Look Good” weren’t just songs to be heard, they were soundscapes to be experienced.

As a bonus, Genghis Tron are the best metal band of all time ever to feature a member named Mookie.

Insect Warfare

This grind trio actually have reunited, and recently! But only in Europe for some reason. Can we launch an Indiegogo campaign or something to get them to play the U.S. again maybe? Hm?

Made Out of Babies

This noise rock band started, on 2005’s Trophy, as the true heirs to the grunge throne, and if that’s all they ever were, that alone would have been noteworthy. But they’d evolved into something even greater by the time they released their final album, 2008’s The Ruiner. They never lost their seemingly-magical ability to sculpt with distortion and feedback, but their confidence seems to have increased from album-to-album, leading them to write moodier tracks that sometimes required more patience to appreciate (e.g., “Fed”). What MOOB never lost, though, was their ability to write Sears Tower-sized hooks and expertly mixed melody with aggression. These provided the perfect backdrop for the shamanic performances of singer Julie Christmas. Christmas is a siren, at once enchanting and terrifying, and her performances are pure catharsis writ large. She’s gone on to be involved in some other really great projects, of course, but Made Out of Babies will always have a special spot in our hearts.

Salome

Salome were well on their way to being one of the great doom bands of their generation when they threw in the towel. Before disbanding, they produced a pair of absolutely crushing full-lengths — 2008’s self-titled debut and 2010’s Terminal. And yet neither quite does justice to the phenomenal experience that was their live show. I mean, bellower Kat Katz was working through some SHIT — or at least it seemed that way. You’d see this diminutive woman kind of meekly make her way through the crowd to the performance area and then suddenly it was like a schizophrenic was being violently tortured by the voices in her head. Meanwhile, drummer Aaron Deal beat his drums like they owed him money, and guitarist Rob Moore searched the absolute lowest possible note human beings could hear without shitting themselves.

As of this writing, Katz seems to work exclusively with Scott Hull, as both a member of Agoraphobic Nosebleed and a guest on the last two Pig Destroyer albums, Book Burner and the recently-released Head Cage. Deal switched instruments and now plays bass in Darkest Hour. Moore launched a band called  Auroboros with ex-Baroness guitarist Brian Blickle, although they honestly haven’t done much since their inception in 2011, and can probably considered broken up as well. In any case, it’s not at all surprising that musicians this talented were able to find other, equally-awesome collaborators. Still, I’d love to see them one more time before I die.

Sepultura

This is actually — and I feel weird even saying this — the one on the list about which I’d be least excited. Why? Well, frankly, it seems like both the Cavaleras and the Cavalera-less Sepultura have finally found some solid creative footing after a couple of decades. To toss that away now for what would really be a nostalgia wank-off would be kind of a shame.

Having said that, I’d be the first one to buy a ticket. I dunno, maybe it would be lame, but I’m just the right age for a nostalgia wank-off, so…

Skid Row

I’ve already written about why these needs to happen at length, so for now, I’ll just say this:

C’mon, fuckers. Just stop delaying the inevitable and do it already. Fuck.

So… who’d I miss? Weigh in in the comments section below. Or don’t. It’s your life.