Metal Blade’s Halloween Collection Is Why I’m Poor

Man, seems like Halloween stuff shows up in stories earlier and earlier every year, right? Luckily, I’m absolutely bananas for Halloween, so it just means my favorite time of year invades on the repulsive, sweaty end of summer (though if you ever meet Vince at a show, make sure to mention it to him–he HATES it).

So when Metal Blade sent me a promo e-mail today announcing their new Halloween collection, I figured I’d click through and check it out, just for laughs. And now, I’m wondering if I should have my fiance hide my credit card, because OH GOD I WANT IT ALL SO BAD.

Besides the official Metal Blade Halloween shirt…

…there’s an actual prop of the Metal Blade axe…

…a picture disc of King Diamond performing “Halloween” live…

…and even a little make-up set of Corpse Paint.

FUCK YOU, Metal Blade! You just put the words ‘Corpse Paint’ on a little black-and-white greasepaint set! You didn’t even come up with a cool logo or font, you printed the words in some 1001 Fonts-ass blood type! You bastards, I want to have kids someday! I want to buy a house? How can you do this to me?!

You can buy all of this goofy, overpriced shit here. If you ever want to say ‘Hi’ to me, I’ll be the dude in the back of the show with the prop axe and jack o’lantern shirt, calling my bank to explain to them that I won’t be able to make my credit card minimum this month.