Impending Doom Really Know How to Take Advantage of a Slow News Cycle

Impending Doom are proof positive that you don’t need talent to be successful. One of the ways the band manages to stay in the public eye despite the fact that their songs sound like they took less than the running time of the actual track to write is by only releasing songs when there is fuck all else going on. They did it with their last single, “The Wretched and Godless,” and now they’ve done it again with their new single, the un-ironically titled “Everything’s Fake.” I wonder if they coordinate with other bands? Like, did they pay off Ghost to specifically not do anything interesting today?

Regardless of how they pulled it off, here we are, listening to “Everything’s Fake,” a song about as exciting as watching butter melt. Like, if you told me that the members of Impending Doom fell asleep while playing this song, I would completely believe it. It’s like a study in anti-songwriting. The best part of the song is fairly generic metalcore riff that kicks in around 1:48… and then repeats for thirty-eight seconds with no variations. The best part of the song is fairly generic metalcore riff that kicks in around 1:48… and then repeats for thirty-eight seconds with no variations. The best part of the song is fairly generic metalcore riff that kicks in around 1:48… and then repeats for thirty-eight seconds with no variations. It would be like I used the same sentence three times in a row while writing up their new track. It’s less-than-spectacularly interesting.

If you’re as bored as I am, you can check out “Everything’s Fake” below. Impending Doom’s new album, The Sin and Doom Vol. II, is out June 22 on eOne. Pre-order it here (digital) or here (physical).