Buckethead: No Longer the Most Famous Person Named ‘Buckethead’
As we all know, there’s only one thing which really matters in life, and that’s fame. This being the case, it’s important to have a unique name. Not just for SEO reasons — but because it makes it that much easier to be the most famous person with that name. Let’s say your name is something boring like, gee, I dunno, Matthew or Benjamin: the chances that you’re ever more famous than Damon and Affleck are slim to none… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg! On the other hand, I am secure asserting that I am the second-most famous person in the world to be named ‘Axl’ and to spell that name without an ‘e.’ And my legacy will probably be secure for decades to come. Success!
I mention this particular issue because Buckethead, the seventeenth best guitarist in modern metal, probably felt pretty confident that he was, is, and would forever be the most famous ‘Buckethead’ in the world. Do you know where the name ‘Buckethead’ fell on Social Security Administration’s list of the 1,000 most popular boy names? Nowhere. Buckethead’s competition, in other words, is scarce.
And yet, as of last night, he is officially not the world’s most famous ‘Buckethead.’
That honor, of course, now belongs to Lord Buckethead, the mysterious man who received 249 votes in last week’s U.K. general election, thereby making Theresa May’s day a million times shittier. Although he does have some things in common with Buckethead the guitarist — he claims to be from outer space and wears a bucket on his head, for example — he does not share Buckethead’s affinity for music or concern for the well-being of chickens.
https://twitter.com/LordBuckethead/status/873006103562473474?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%2Fnews%2F2017%2F06%2F09%2Flord-buckethead%2F
https://twitter.com/LordBuckethead/status/873092191173828612
Understandably, Lord Buckethead, and his manifesto (below), have become something of a worldwide sensation…
…culminating in an appearance on last night’s episode of HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver:
https://twitter.com/LordBuckethead/status/874214129845903360
This is clearly the widest amount of exposure anyone named ‘Buckethead’ has ever received, easily trouncing Buckethead’s appearance with an infamously-winded Axl Rose on MTV in 2002.
Lord Buckethead has become such a water cooler topic, in fact, that I’d wager if the U.K. general election were held again tomorrow, the number of votes he’d receive would skyrocket into the thousands.
Furthermore, when historians write about this election, they will almost certainly mention Lord Buckethead. And while it’s possible more people in the future will study the drama behind Chinese Democracy than will study the drama behind Brexit, it seems highly unlikely. And so Lord Buckethead appears destined to be remembered long after Buckethead has been forgotten.
It seems to me that there is but one course of action of Buckethead to take if he hopes to reattain his status as the world’s foremost ‘Buckethead.’ That’s right: he has to run for President in 2020.
This might seem ridiculous, but think about it… is it any sillier to vote for a guy who wears a KFC bucket for a hat than it is to vote for a guy who models his skin tone after the carrot? They have roughly the same amount of political experience. I say we go for it, America. VOTE BUCKETHEAD IN 2020!!!
