Most Metal Bathroom Ever: Amazon Sells Black Toilet Paper Now

For the past ten years, every morning when I’ve taken a shit upon the wrought-iron toilet at the center of the MS Mansion Vince Division bathroom I’ve foregone all reading material and spent those blissful moments of purging meditating on how I could possibly make the experience of pooping or peeing even more brutal.

Today we finally have a solution via metal Twitter hero metal.txt: black toilet paper.

The most grim toilet paper of all is manufactured by Renova with a remarkable THREE-ply design to ensure your privates get tip-top pampering. Kind of un-metal, if you ask me; shouldn’t black toilet paper be wrapped in barbed wire or something?

A six-pack containing 140 sheets per roll will set you back $20, which is crazy money for a just a few squares. Style over substance, though, right? At least you’ll look great wiping.

Buy yourself some black toilet paper right here. And be sure to thank Papa Vince when you’re finally cleaning your nethers in the most punishing way possible.