Attila’s Chris Fronzak Reads to Elementary School Kids, Teaches Them to Suck a Fuck

There’s no shortage in metal of people who get on stage every night and are all “RAAR RAAR FUCK BLOOD GUTS RAAR!” and then go home and are good, perfectly normal mommies and daddies. Still, there’s something surprisingly sweet about the fact that Chris Fronzak from Attila recently swung by his kid’s school for story time. I think it’s because whereas, say, Cannibal Corpse is clearly fantasy, Attila give the appearance of being all “about that life.” For example, there’s nothing in these lyrics to really indicate their author’s intentions; they could be satirical, I guess, but they don’t seem satirical.

I’m a bad motherfucker not a fucking role model
Fuck church, hit a bong, then go smash a fucking bottle
Got a few sluts to help me roll a few blunts
And they never question me cause they know I hate cunts

So, like I said — that Fronzak did this is suprisingly sweet, and certainly commendable.

But… wait… what is reading to those impressionable youngsters, anyway? Let’s enhance the image for a closer look:

OHHHHH. See, now, that makes sense. I knew there was no way this dude just rolled up and read Green Eggs and Ham, y’know?

[via Rock Feed]