My Wife’s Christmas Gift

Just picked up my wife’s Christmas gift from Danny’s. If you’re not familiar with Danny’s* (I think there’s one in NYC, LA, and Chicago) it’s basically a Toys R’ Us for bedroom accessories.

This year I got my wife a dildo in the mold of my very own penis.

Only I made a few modifications, and here’s why:

1. Decreased the girth by 1/8″ diameter. I travel a lot, so she’ll get pretty good use out of this gorgeous portable hog. But, I want her to know the difference. If she gets acclimated to the size of the dildo then she’ll definitely know when the real thing enters her. To the tune of an extra 1/8″ thickness. For those of you that can’t discern between a thickie, and an extra-thickie then you just don’t know.

2. I spent the extra $450 to get their top shelf model. It’s constructed of nanomaterials that give it unbelievable strength, but also allows for friendly flexibility. It also has a polyvinyl chloride outer shell to help protect against the elements. This dildo will outlive our grandchildren, and is absolute heirloom quality.

3. I have a unique pattern of warts and moles decorating the shaft of my dick. These are certainly special, and when I’m inside of you there’s no mistaking. I have rearranged the pattern slightly, and have planed off a few of the beefier knobs thus effectively decreasing the aspect ratio. Again, for much of the same reason I tuned down the overall girth.

I know custom made dildos have been a staple of Christmas gifts over the years, but I wanted to do something special this year. It’s our tenth holiday season spent together, and one that I’m hoping she’ll never forget.