Nikki Sixx Says Mötley Crüe Were “More Serious” Than Steel Panther, is Incorrect

So I just read this Nikki Sixx quote about Steel Panther on Rock Feed…

“I kind of take my music a little more seriously.”

…and then I had to change my underwear ’cause I pissed myself laughing. I mean, I love (old) Mötley Crüe, but I wonder if Nikki has actually read any of the lyrics he wrote for that band. Seriously, you tell me which of the below lyrics came from a Steel Panther song and which came from a Mötley Crüe song:

Oh, good God, there’s a fire
In my pants

*

It’s like connecting the dots
Start at the bottom, lick it to the top

*

Red Rover, red rover
Got a bone but I can’t come over

*

I asked you for a table dance
You came over and put your hand in my pants

So? Which ones are Steel Panther lyrics and which ones are Mötley Crüe lyrics?

Here’s the answer: only that last one is by Steel Panther. But doesn’t seem like they could ALL plausibly belong to either band? Like, what makes the Crüe ones so much more serious than the Panther ones?

Nothing, that’s what. Nikki Sixx has made some great music in his time… but he may wanna lighten up a little, y’know?