Church Burning is So 90s: World’s Tallest Church Eroding from Urine and Vomit

Guys, don’t burn down churches. It’s really dangerous, and you can totally take a stand against organized religion without hurting other human beings. For example, you could continuously piss and vomit on a church. If you’re patient enough, after many, many years, it may fall down anyway.

That’s what’s happening to Germany’s Ulm Minister. The Lutheran church’s stone base is being slowly eroded by piss and vomit. That would make it an interesting story even if Ulm Minister were just any old run of the mill church, but Ulm Minister is especially noteworthy. From Esquire:

“The tower of Ulm Minster stretches 530 feet into the sky. Construction on the magnificent church began in 1377 but wasn’t finished until May 31, 1890. It survived the Allied bombing of Ulm late in World War II — over 80-percent of the city center was destroyed — but now is in peril due to peeing idiots.”

Local authorities have increased police patrols around the area and doubled the fine for public urination to €100 (roughly $108), but apparently the effect of these new measures has been minimal.

No German black metal band has yet stepped forward to claim credit for Ulm Minister’s destruction.