Justin Chancellor Reveals the Location of the New Tool Album

Guys. Hey guys. I think I figured out why it’s taking so goddamn long for the new Tool album to be released. In a new interview, the band’s bassist, Justin Chancellor, gave this quote regarding the record:

“It’s in the oven. It’s cooking, it’s cooking.”

Welll… FUCK! No wonder the goddamn thing hasn’t come out. Why the fuck would the band put their new album in the oven and cook it? What purpose could that possibly serve? Why wouldn’t they back up all the files first? Are they under the illusion that a computer or CD or whatever the fuck they’re using could possibly survive the heat of an oven? DID THEY LEARN NOTHING FROM THE HOLOCAUST?!?!?!

You can check out the entire interview here. The new Tool album is tentatively scheduled for release in on October 10, 4185.