Poll: Hellyeah’s “Alcohaulin’ Ass” vs. Snowy Shaw’s “Alcoholocaust”

Hellyeah are pioneers: they were the first-ever metal band to write a song based around using a pun on the word “alcohol.” That would be impressive enough, but the song also manages to make the pun one related to the ‘Muhrican everyman sensibility of their fanbase. So the song, “Alcohaulin’ Ass,” really works on multiple levels.

Now Snowy Shaw (Therion, ex-Dimmu Borgir) has released his own metal song based around using a pun on the word “alcohol.” Shaw’s contribution to this burgeoning subgenre is called “Alcoholocaust,” which, unfortunately, does not manage to reflect Shaw’s own social beliefs — he is not, as far as I can tell, endorsing a holocaust performed with or upon alcohol. Heck, it’s not even the week’s most offensive Holocaust reference in pop culture.

Still, I prefer his song to Hellyeah’s for two reasons: first, the horrible video adds a LOT of camp value, and second, unlike “Alocohaulin’ Ass,” it’s not a terrible song.

So I put it to you, beloved readers: which of these two odes to organic compounds in which the hydroxyl functional group is bound to a saturated carbon atom is superior? Vote below. And make sure to tell your friends, ’cause thousands of years from now, when there are billions of metal songs based around using a pun on the word “alcohol,” everyone will look back at this poll as a decisive moment in the birth of this powerful movement.  So this may be the single most important vote in which you’ll ever participate!