Breaking: Eddie Has Gone Missing

Hot on the heels of reports that both Ozzy Osbourne and Sinead O’Connor had disappeared, it’s now being reported that Iron Maiden mascot Eddie has gone missing.

According to e-mails sent to us by Vic Rattlehead and the Crimson Ghost, the multi-faceted zombie created by Derek Riggs stormed out of his London apartment after getting in a “heated exchange” with Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson over which aspect of Eddie would appear on Iron Maiden’s next beer. Other rumors include that Eddie has been having an on-again-off-again affair with the Acid Witch, though this has been vehemently denied by close friend the Motörhead Warpig.

Eddie has since not been answering his phone, and his contacts in Ancient Egypt and the Arctic a billion years in the future have both told MetalSucks that he did not show up for his shift lately.

Apparently, Eddie’s relationship with the band has been slightly strained since the release of 2010’s The Final Frontier, when Eddie was replaced with what the mascot himself described as “some ridiculous Malevolent Creation bullshit.” Though Eddie was featured again on the cover of 2015’s The Book of Souls, he was apparently unhappy about having to do so in tribal war paint.

Anyone who has seen Eddie and can verify his whereabouts should contact MetalSucks here.