If You Start Watching Rob Zombie’s “Fucking” Video Now, You Might Finish it by May

Rob Zombie continues to party like it’s 1999. The singer has released a video for his new single, “Well, Everybody’s Fucking in a U.F.O.,” and in the grand tradition of MTV’s heyday, it’s basically a short film: more than half it’s runtime is devoted to a “comedic” storyline fueled by jokes which I have to assume were written by thirteen-year-olds. Like, if you find a gag about the word “cans” can be used to mean actual cans or boobs, then you will find this hilarious. Everyone else will probably wonder why the fuck they’re watching this video. I don’t have a good answer for you.

Rob Zombie’s new album, When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might so When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right, comes out April 29. You can go see Zombie on tour with Disturbed or Korn starting at the end of April.