BREAKING: Corey Taylor May Retire from Slipknot*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The internet lost its collective shit this week when, during an interview with the Someone Who Isn’t Me podcast, Corey Taylor used the phrase “I might step away from Slipknot at some point.” I’m not entirely sure why, though. It’s a pretty vague statement, even out of context, and putting it in context doesn’t help make it much more specific.

Here’s the entire Taylor quote, which was a response to being asked if he would ever stop touring:

“You know honestly, if you’d have asked me a year ago I would have said no. But just now, I’m just kind of starting to… I’m forty-two, I’m not young anymore and as willing as my will is, I’m just beat up man. I mean I might as well be sixty in Slipknot years, for Christ’s sake. I don’t know if I would retire, I might step away from Slipknot at some point, just because the way the music is, that sense of energy, I don’t know if I could be able to do that into my fifties. And I would never want the band to feel like I was holding them back because I just couldn’t physically do it. So that means I wouldn’t completely quit music, I would probably just step away from Slipknot.”

Okay. So Corey Taylor may have to stop performing with Slipknot at some point in December of 2023, when he turns fifty. That’s a long time from now. By 2023, President Donald Trump will be at the tail end of his second term; Star Wars will up to Episode XII; someone born now will be in the second grade; there still be no new Necrophagist album. 2023 is a ways away.

And that’s if Taylor even ends up “stepping away.” IF! Let’s remember kids: Slipknot is the band that in 2001 told Rolling Stone they’d break up after four of five albums (.5: The Gray Chapter is their fifth)! And there have been murmurings about Taylor leaving the band almost as long as he’s been in the band! I don’t think it’s any secret that the dude prefers Stone Sour to Slipknot, and I don’t think it’s any secret which one of those bands’ success allows the other to exist.

So, in short: let’s re-visit this in seven years, k?