The Predator: The Next Most Metal Movie Ever?

It’s no secret that Predators are metal as fuck, and maybe one of the most metal movie characters ever. So when news dropped last week about the Predator franchise getting another installment, you can bet that the first thing to cross my mind was that The Predator could indeed be the most metal movie ever when it comes out.

For those who are unfamiliar with what a Predator is, they’re an alien race that hunts prey all across the galaxy using a whole bunch of technology — cloaking devices, shoulder-mounted plasma cannons and heat vision to name a few — for sport and honor. Once a kill is secured, a Predator will flay its victim (alive or dead) and then hang it up high for all to see as a trophy. That, or it will go full Mortal Kombat and rip the victim’s head off with the spine still attached, then wear the skull on its armor as, you guessed it, a trophy. If a Predator is defeated, it will set off a bomb built into its armor to kill itself and everything around it. Predators are metal to the core, I tell ya, and they’re coming back in The Predator.

So does all of that sound brutal enough? Well it should, because almost any still shot from a movie with a Predator in it could be a metal album cover. The new film, which doesn’t have a release date yet, will be directed by Shane Black, who helmed Iron Man 3 and wrote the Lethal Weapon movies, so we can expect some pretty good action and hopefully some gratuitous violence too. If the film ends up getting the 3D treatment, we could see a Predator sneak up behind someone while cloaked, rip their head off, and watch the blood splatter all over the place in glorious 3D. Then the head could be thrown at the screen/audience as another 3D effect. With blood everywhere, the Predator’s shape could be revealed from behind the cloaking device by the blood spraying all over his form, after which he’d break out the plasma cannon to start blowing off the heads of any and all who would dare oppose him in a storm of chaos and exploding body parts.

The Predators are just so unbelievably cool that it’s a shame there isn’t more going on with them. Just think of all the other ridiculous ways the Predator could kill people with the filmmaking technology and special effects we have today; the franchise desperately needs it after years of mediocre sequels. Predator 2 was great, but Alien vs. Predator, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem and Predators were all just meh at best. AVP was PG-13 so the Predator couldn’t really eviscerate things the way he was supposed to; AVPR fixed that with an R rating but the movie itself was so awful it was actually funny; and Predators? Well, there are so many plot holes in Predators it felt like watching a Michael Bay movie with less explosions and Hasbro robots.

For now, all we really know about the movie is the teaser picture featured above. Once we get a trailer we’ll have a better feel for how violent the film will be, but dare I say I have a good feeling about this one? Anything involving a Predator will be metal, just like anything involving Freddy Krueger will involve sleep deprivation and dead children. We’ll keep you posted as soon as we find out more.