Lita Ford and Gene Simmons are “Rotten to the Core”

Update, 2:45 p.m.: Lita’s camp tells me all the material on this album, including “Rotten to the Core,” is actually old, but previously unreleased. So I guess that explains why the song sounds so very 80s. It does not explain why the song is so horrible.

I was about to type “You know the new Lita Ford song, ‘Rotten to the Core,’ is gonna blow goats when it opens with the lyric ‘Well here comes trouble/Screaming at midnight’,” but I realize that’s inaccurate — you know the new Lita Ford song, “Rotten to the Core,” is gonna blow goats when you realize it’s a new Lita Ford song. The fact that it sounds like a parody of a horrible 80s song from some movie hipsters now celebrate ironically will be surprising only to those who aren’t familiar with Ford’s previous work.

For bonus shittiness, though, the song also features bass by Gene Simmons (pictured above with Ford in 1993, when they both still resembled homo sapiens). Yes, bass — not vocals — by Gene Simmons. Why? Are there bassists out there who honestly admire Simmons as a musician, and not just a personality? If so, they must be the same people who think Lars Ulrich is an amazing drummer, right?

You can listen to “Rotten to the Core” below. It will appear on Ms. Ford’s new album, appropriately entitled Time Capsule, which comes out April 15 on SPV/Steamhammer.