Vince Neil To Sign On To, Be Fired From The Celebrity Apprentice

Since our country is sick and decided that the last towering dickhead to host The Celebrity Apprentice might be a good option for leader of the free world, NBC has been forced to replace the show’s original figure of loathing and disgust. His successor is none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger, star of Conan the Barbarian, the Terminator series, and those TV commercials for mobile games appealing to dudes obsessed with war. Those guys are never creepy.

But now that the show has a new host, it needs a new batch of B-list chuckleheads for him to torment. Who’s up first? Vince Neil, obviously!

According to TMZ, the Mötley Crüe singer is the first contestant to sign up for the business reality show, in which celebrities are asked to be employees of a richer celebrity in the hopes of beating the other celebrities at seeming competent. So, this should be awful.

One thing TMZ gets wrong, though — it says that Neil, having finished Crüe’s ‘Final Tour,’ is “ready to transition to a reality star.” But wait, does no one remember VH1’s reality special on Vince Neil’s plastic surgery? The one where he comes out looking like a hand puppet and performs a solo song no one’s ever heard again for a crowd of gawkers? Aw, man, it’s a classic! I’ve included a teaser video below, but see if you can track down the whole episode.

Anyway, good luck to Neil on, I don’t know, coming off as more intelligent than Dennis Rodman? Let’s just hope that Arnold doesn’t bring up Metallica, or things will get ugly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOqUkDlwm7k