Van Canto’s “Clashings on Armour Plates” is the Funniest Thing You’ll Hear All Day

There’s a part of me that really admires Van Canto, the same way I admire a kid who refuses to quit Mathletes, Model U.N., and The Juggling Society despite knowing that every day some kid at school is gonna dunk his head in a toilet. There’s a level of bravery in saying “I won’t change just because you give me a hard time!” which I think we can all learn from.

The rest of me, though, can’t help but laugh when the dweeb gets a swirly, mostly because the dweeb is so goddamned annoying as to shout down your conscience.

Which brings us to Van Canto’s new single, “Clashings on Armour Plates.” Holy shit, is this song uproarious. Each second is more ridiculous than the last; my personal favorite moments are the delivery of the line “Four good, one bad!” at 1:05 and the Michael Winslow-esque “guitar solo” at 2:39, but there’s such a wealth of comedy here that you’re sure to find some element or elements that will make you wet yourself.

So get on diapers, Richard Christy-style, and check out “Clashings on Armour Plates” below. It will appear on Van Canto’s new album, Voices of Fire, which comes out March 11 on earMUSIC.