Slipknot Make Toys Now

Here’s a merch idea so obvious I can’t believe it took the world sixteen years to come up with it: Slipknot toys, which The PRP reports the band are now selling via their German web store. Unfortunately, they’re not action figures, which is to say, Mick Thomson doesn’t come “Movable Head Stabbing Action!” or anything fun like that. Also: no Paul Gray or Joey Jordison (or Jay Weinberg and Alessandro Venturella, but I suspect no one cares about those figures anyway).

The figures are being made by Staramba, the same company that previously brought you toys of Doro Pesch’s backing band, which are now harder to get than Star Wars-themed editions of Monopoly featuring the goddamn protagonist of the new Star Wars movie. Just kidding, I’m sure no one has bought any of those yet.