Friday 5: Your Top Five “Thingz” Of 2015 (Not Hetfield’s)
Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).
Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you?). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting.
Today, let’s talk make like James Hetfield by celebrating our favorite moments of 2015!
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THE FIVE
What events in metal made you smile in 2015?
THE LISTER
Anso DF MetalSucks Senior Editor
1. When a major news outlet reported that a moneyed wife-killer is the singer of reviled rap-rockers Limp Bizkit
March 17
“Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that a reputable news outlet might mistake Robert Durst for Fred Durst, if for no other reason than their 30-year age difference.” – Axl Rosenberg (read)
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2. Black Sabbath’s Geezer Butler, 65, arrested following a bar fight
January 30
“[Police] said an argument escalated into ‘a physical confrontation,’ resulting in an individual being struck and a window being broken.” – A.R. (read)
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3. Funny guitarist from Killswitch Engage wins big on iconic game show
February 10
“Gotta give Adam additional props for making host Drew Carey lose his shit. Also: Keep your eyes peeled for Cattle Decapitation vocalist Travis Ryan windmilling in the audience.” (read)
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4. The Iron Maiden van!!!
March 20
“A Keyport, Washington man is selling on eBay what we can all agree is the coolest van ever.” – A.R. (read)
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5. MetalSucks Editorial: “Women Have No Place In Metal (Please Let Me Smell Your Hair)”
October 26
“It’s like, cut it out, bitch. Not all of us come to concerts to try and fuck some musician; we’re here because of our love of music and our desperate need for any sympathetic human contact whatsoever. But you don’t see me getting a backstage pass so I can take the lead singer’s hand in mine and tell him in a cracking voice that his music is really, truly, all I have left. ‘Cause I don’t have tits to show off like that whore. Don’t get me wrong, I’d toss it to her, or literally any woman in here. I’m a love machine.” – Emperor Rhombus (read)
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Your turn! Have a great wknd!
