Spite is the New Suffokate

Do bands still use image consultants these days, or did that shit die with nu-metal? I ask only because this band Spite seems to be hitting a ton of clichés with such aggressive force I can only imagine they’re the brainchild of a fifty-something-year-old woman who has never actually listened to metal once in her entire life. (Do these bands get discounts on bulk purchases of their matching outfits? Maybe one of them just works at Old Navy or something?) The nicest thing I can say about them is that they don’t seem to have any choreography.

Still, there’s probably no offense here that wouldn’t be at least somewhat forgivable if the band were good. But they’re about as close to good as Moscow is close to Buenos Aires. Maybe it’s just because of the song’s title, but the image the song conjured for me Mudvayne’s “Dig” being performed by a bunch of thalidomide babies.

I first saw this video on Lambgoat. That site’s commenters are infamously, um, crass, but this dude really summed up this video up nicely: