Everything Priapus Wants to do is Illegal

One might assume, based on its title, that Priapus’ Depressants is a doom metal album which unfolds at roughly the same speed at which old people fuck. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Unsigned & Unholy alum are a grindcore band, which is to say, their music is about as slow as Henry Rollins is flabby. The title of the album is either meant to be ironic, or is otherwise a warning as to what substances you’ll need handy to come down after listening.

The name of the band, however, is perfect: for anyone seeking to listen in on the thoughts of someone who has recently suffered third-degree burns and is now having their skin massaged with a cheese grater dripping with Drano, Priapus will provide an erection that is sure to last longer than Dream Theater’s entire discography.

Interested? You’re in luck! Decibel has premiered “Everything I Want to do is Illegal,” a track from Depressants, which the digital arm of our favorite metal magazine eloquently describes as “a six-song  fistfuck of an EP that after a mere 11 minutes will make you feel like you just ate a pound of D batteries.” Amen, brothers!

Listen to “Everything I Want to do is Illegal” here. Depressants will be out in early 2016; keep your eyes peeled to Priapus’ Bandcamp page for purchase info. The group is also playing Maryland Death Fest in 2016.