JNCOs Announces Fresh Designs; Nu-Metal Apocalypse Draws Nearer

You’re a metalhead, so I’m going to assume you know your Bible like you know your Emperor lyrics, and are therefore aware that there are Seven Signs, or Seals, of Revelation, which will herald the Nu-Metal Apocalypse.

Today, The PRP reports that the world is not four Signs deep:

“The nu metal revival continues later this year, with fashion being the next front. The planned resurrection of JNCO jeans is scheduled to launch in December and pre-orders are now available via JNCO.com.”

This is it, people. It’s happening. Don’t ignore the warnings. I don’t think MTV even plays music videos anymore, but brace yourselves: the return of The Return of the Rock is imminent. Get ready to braid your beard and dye it a neon color or be fed to the Salivacc. In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are forced to listen to “Click Click Boom” on repeat for a… thousand years.