You Can Now Purchase a Lock of Kurt Cobain’s Hair, You Creepy Perv
What would you pay for a lock of Kurt Cobain’s hair? Five cents? Ten cents? An entire quarter?
How about enough money to make people believe this is the kind of thing you do when you’re bored?
Well, don’t tear up all your cash just yet, Richie Rich: a lock of Kurt Cobain’s hair is expected to sell for $8,000 — $10,000 this week at Julien’s Auctions, according to Classic Rock.
The hair comes from Dame Darcy, a dollmaker who obtained the lock from Cobain’s widow, Courtney Love; Love gave Darcy the follicles for the purposes of making a doll for Frances Bean, the late Nirvana frontman’s daughter. (How did Love happen to have some of her dead husband’s hair? Not to be crass, but: did she ask to cut off a piece when she identified the body at the morgue? Cobain blew his head off, so wouldn’t that hair have had, like, blood and brain chunks and shit in it? Don’t ask.) Darcy apparently had hair left over after completing the doll, and this is what she has decided to do with it.
…
If everything you just read didn’t make you throw up in your own ass at least a little bit, seek help.
Here are two questions I have for whomever makes this purchase:
i) What in the sweet mother of fuck are you going to do with Kurt Cobain’s hair? Fulfill your destiny and become known as Grunge’s Creepiest Hair Sniffer?
Make a disturbing hair doll?
https://youtu.be/VrQPzJVzQpQ
Place it in a tin container with some steak tartare, put the container in a nuclear missile, and shoot it into the sun, thereby creating The Anti-Cobain?
https://youtu.be/8ZmN3rV0kXY
https://youtu.be/tpprKm31YVo
ii) After completing payment for your prize, will you personally tell millions of starving children to go fuck themselves, or will you simply hope they hear about your colossal waste of funds through the “People to Kill During the Revolution” grapevine? Color me curious.
In related news, next week Christie’s is hoping to fetch a cool million for a piece of one of Jimi Hendrix’s toenails. Awsome!
