Ozzy is Working on a New Solo Album

Good news: Epic Records president Sylvia Rhone has revealed to Billboard that Ozzy is making a new solo album. Says Ms. Rhone:

“It’s going to be a really special album. It’s going to be amazing, it’s something Ozzy has never done before that he’s always wanted to do.”

Of course, Rhone may not be the most impartial judge. The odds that the head of Ozzy’s label might have given this quote instead…

“It’s going to be a really mediocre album. It’s going to be insignificant. It’s something Ozzy has already done before many times before but that Sharon insisted he do yet again.”

…were always pretty slim.

Is there any chance that Ozzy will — or even can — actually make an “amazing” album at this point in history? It’s been nearly a quarter of a century since his last great album (No More Tears), two decades since his last good album (Ozzmosis), and fourteen years since his last album with any songs I even remember on it (Down to Earth). I can remember Blah Rain and Scrap about as well as Ozzy can pour orange juice.

https://youtu.be/93D08WaaNtg

And that’s not even getting into the fact that Ozzy’s live performances started being, uh, lackluster a long time ago.

Still, I think there are some things Ozzy can do to ensure that his next solo album doesn’t further soil his legacy. For one thing, he should not work with Bland Rain/Scram producer Kevin Churko again. And whether it’s Gus G. or someone else, he should let a younger person who isn’t Zakk Wylde write the record. Fuck, he could pull a reverse Santana and make an album where every song was written and recorded with a different famous guitarist. I could see that ending up being pretty cool.

But for now, the only thing we know about Ozzy’s new album is that a woman who stands to make money from it seems confident that it will make her money. Take that for however little it’s worth.