Here’s the Title Track for Disturbed’s Immortalized

When I first hit play on the lyric video for the title track from the new Disturbed album, Immortalized, I was like, “WHOA! Am I about to like a Disturbed song?!?!?!” ‘Cause it’s got this big swinging dick riff that wouldn’t seem out of place on a NWOAHM album. That would still put Disturbed a decade behind current trends, sure, but it would be progress from their usual sound, once described by Oscar winner Marlee Matlin as “proof that God is merciful.”

Alas, the fun doesn’t last long: David Draiman’s vocals make nails on a chalkboard sound like fucking Prokofiev, and his cliché lyrics are like a bad parody of the inspirational poetry of Jamey Jasta. Also, the music stops being fun by the time bridge arrives; it stops being NWOAHM-ish and starts being generic-sounding-metal-song-used-in-the-background-of-a-cheap-sitcom-that-couldn’t-afford-a-real-metal-song-ish.

So… are you about to like a Disturbed song? No. You’re about to be okay with thirteen seconds of a Disturbed song, though. That’s almost one second of okay music for every year of Disturbed’s career. So, expect to actually like a Disturbed song sometime in 2250.

Immortalized is out August 21.