Iron Maiden Body Paint is Sexy

At some point in history, a brilliant man (alas, his name is lost to history), seeking a way to look at naked women without getting fired from his job, created the concept of body paint*. And the idea was a win x2, because not only do body painted women appear to be clothed (assuming we define “clothed” as “technically allowed to go out in public like that”), but the fact that you are 1/84th of a centimeter closer to a woman’s sexy parts than you would be if she were wearing a bathing suit is a really boner-maker.

Unless you’re this lady, an unfortunate victim of Matteo Arfanotti, a very talented body artist who, for reasons unknown, has chosen to devote his immense talent to making a woman look completely fucking terrifying:Metal Injection reports that this surefire way to repulse anyone who might hit on you was done as part of this year’s Paintopia, an event which is exactly what you’d think it is.

So, there ya go. Something else to think about the next time you’re worried you’re gonna pop too quick.

*Men can obviously have their bodies painted, too, but it’s much harder to camouflage a penis than a vagina, unless you’re Lars Ulrich.