Friday 5: Who (Else) In Metal Should Do Comedy?

Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).

Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you?). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting. 

Today, let’s talk about the metal guys who crack us up — one way or another.

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THE FIVE

What other five metal dudes could have a career TV comedy?

THE LISTER

Anso DF, MetalSucks senior editor

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1. Adam D. from Killswitch Engage

Hollywood people like to remind you about the huge differences between a “funny guy” and a comedy creator. So guitarist and producer Adam D. might be better in front of the camera than in the writer’s room with Keith Buckley. Heck, D. proved as much in his appearance on a wack game show. I bet he could easily switch places with the host.

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2. Paul Masvidal of Cynic

Sure, Paul Masvidal might not be super funny. He’s not even invested in entertaining anyone so much as enlightening everyone. So I envision him as a straight man (so to speak) in a funny reality show about touring in a one-of-a-kind band. Like NOFX’s series, but less sweat and flab and more wonderment at an exceptionally rare experience of an outsider among outsiders.

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3. Bobby Blotzer of Ratt

Bobby Blotzer’s most potent comedy weapon is not his wit, but his vantage point. That is, any dude will accrue hilarious tales having spent so many hours sitting behind goofy Stephen Pearcy on stage and incomprehensible Pearcy backstage. Plus, awesome comedy name.

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4. Devin Townsend from Devin Townsend Project, Strapping Young Lad, Punky Brüster

Devin Townsend goofs off on his albums and via radio and sketches. But what I’d partner with him on is an animated series that tells the origin of Cryptic Coroner, Townsend’s fictional death metal band from “south-central Poland.”

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5. Dave Mustaine from Megadeth

Are you familiar with the David Brent character on that series The Office?

Happy Friday! Your turn :)