New Lyric Video from Paul Di’Anno’s Architects of Chaoz Inarguably Proves Gayness of Bruce Dickinson

Original Iron Maiden vocalist and butch heterosexual manly man Paul Di’Anno has been telling the world that Bruce Dickinson is a homosexual since at least 2012, when Di’Anno astutely observed the contrast between himself and his successor:

“I’m sorry – I don’t do opera. [Imitates Bruce Dickinson singing ‘Run to the Hills.’] It’s too fucking easy – and I’m not gay.”

Despite the intelligence of Di’Anno’s argument, some Dickinson loyalists have dismissed his claims, asserting that the singer’s contention, while very well thought-out, is still lacking in rock solid evidence.

As of today, however, this shall no longer be the case. For Di’Anno’s new band, Architects of Chaoz, have released “How Many Times,” the debut single from their debut album, The League of Shadows. The track is so penis-in-vagina-y that one simply cannot listen to it and not comprehend that Bruce Dickinson is a total poofter.

Because not only is the music straighter than a razor, but the lyrics are, too. Whereas Dickinson would have made the song about genocide or Satanism or war or a nuclear apocalypse or mythology or something fruity like that, Di’Anno’s chose to tackle the most macho topic of all: feelings. “I look in your eyes, the wall you hide behind,” Di’Anno croons, adding, “No more lies, this time we’re really through.” I mean if that doesn’t prove that Di’Anno loves pussy like a flower loves rain then nothing will.

The League of Shadows comes out May 29 on Metalville records.