Study: Are Drummers Smarter Than You?

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.

How do you get a drummer to play quiet? Put sheet music in front of him.

Why do drummers store a pair of drumsticks on their dashboard? So they can park in a handicapped space.

We may never experience a shortage of jokes about drummers. But thanks to a report released last month, they may finally have landed a solid retort: We are more intelligent than you. Guh???

[Via] a series of reports from Oxford and Harvard universities and others, Polymic found that that dude at the back of the band … is more likely to be the smartest.

Researchers at Stockholm’s Karolinska Institutet found that drummers who kept a tighter rhythm also scored better on a 60-question intelligence test. This is a reflection of better problem solving skills, which creates a positive impact on those around them.

So a good drummer scores better on an intelligence test than others. Mindfreak! After all, one might assert the opposite on the basis that only a lack of common sense could account for a person’s pursuit of excellence at drumming. A non-silly person, meanwhile, would chose a hobby/profession which may not lead to a life of thankless work and scorn both unspoken and angrily screamed. And therefore they’d be less proficient at drumming. Hmm.

A Stanford study that shows steady rhythm actually improves cognitive function in the brain. A psychology professor at the University of Washington used rhythmic light and sound therapy on students. Their grades eventually improved. Similarly, a University of Texas medical researcher found it had effects comparable to Ritalin on school boys with ADD. There was a lasting boost in the boys’ IQ scores.

Ahh, now that sounds like a drummer. The ones for whom pro drumming is a means to test a hypothesis on the physics of putting a car in a pool. The weird, needy, delicate ones. And the ones with horrible clothes, random facial hair, and (sigh) porn. The ones known for side projects, backing vocals, and sackings. But hey no offense, seriously we worship drummers and we agree that they must be super intelligent. Like my bud Dan. Amazing drummer. He belches the national anthem.