“What I Learned from Growing Up Nu Metal in British Suburbia”

Get ready to go back down the rabbit hole!

Two years ago, Vice’s music arm, Noisey, took us deep inside the world of Black Veil Bride fans; now Vice itself has published an article by a woman named Kate Hutchinson, entitled “What I Learned from Growing Up Nu Metal in British Suburbia.”

Unlike the Black Veil Brides piece, it’s not very funny (save for the line, “I also made out with guys who braided their beards” — ewwwwwwww!!!), nor will reaffirm your hatred for fans of the genre.  What it will do, however, is provide some insights into the minds of the kids who supported this crap in its heyday, which is essential to feeling some sympathy for the young men and women who are responsible for P.O.D. having a career.

Here are some highlights:

YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO BE ANGRY AT YOUR PARENTS
Nu metal’s foghorn motto was that everyone should fuck off and die and leave you alone, which, of course, was perfect for the defiance against our parents we all have when mom and dad are still paying for literally everything we do.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO DRESS LIKE A TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT
Just as nu metal’s sound was confused and diverse, so was its dress code. Korn sported Adidas tracksuits and decomposing dreadlocks; Limp Bizkit had backwards caps and a guitarist who looked like he knew what human flesh tastes like; and the less said about Mudvayne the better.

BODY DECORATION DOES NOT AGE WELL
Nu metal was an interesting time for experiments in body adornment. Facial hair, for example, was worthy of its own specialist containment team. This was a time before conditioning oil, when most guys had wiry chin straps or, in the extreme case of Shavo Odadjian from System of a Down, actually attempted to see how many elastic bands they could fit onto their beards. Worse was the guy from Disturbed, who tried to style out the saber-toothed soul patch he’d actively inflicted on himself.

SEXIST SCUMBAG LYRICS WILL BRING OUT YOUR INNER FEMINIST
I had no idea what misogyny was when I got into nu metal, but it’s funny how songs that detail a “titty suckin’ two balled bitch with a fat green clit” (Korn’s delightful track “Kunt”) set off the raging feminism alarm you didn’t know you had. Nu metal was my gateway into alternative rock and, as I discovered grunge and then Riot Grrrl, I began to question why these fat-fingered white guys were slut-shaming women in their songs.

Good stuff, right?

Read the entire article here.