Listen: Steel Panther Wants To Stuff Your “Stocking”

It’s something that you shouldn’t know, so I hate myself for bring it up: In the past five years, aged hair metal bands have launched a cottage industry of sketchy holiday releases. Started by Twisted Sister’s full album Twisted Christmas, this little library of half-hilarious jams seems like a good idea; hell, we’re stuck with the same seasonal sing-alongs for life, so let’s wrap them in shreddy solos and shrieking voices. Everything’s best that way.

But this concept’s execution might not match its modest goals. That is, it’s tough to get excited about “Silver Bells” recorded by a pick-up crew of Korn’s new drummer, Quiet Riot’s old guitarist, the dude who’s been in both White Lion and Megadeth, and a long-expired Geoff Tate. That line-up doesn’t scream “chemistry” or “inspired.” Or how about The Kinks’ “Father Christmas” as sung by Jani Lane in 2007? Don’t even ask about “Winter Wonderland” by Stryper.

So there’s an opening for “non-awful metal holiday jam” here in 2014. Steel Panther is the band to fill it, so to speak, as they are heavy, awesome, and won’t ruin any light vibe by being all serious. But their welcome new jam “The Stocking Song” might not do the trick; it’s as heavy as “To Be With You” and as deep as Backstreet Boys. It could’ve ripped instead. Check it out below (via Billboard)!

Get Steel Panther’s “The Stocking Song” here.