Metallica and Lou Reed’s Lulu Breaks Sales Records!

Well, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, technically speaking, my headline is 100% truthful. The bad news is, the record the album broke is the one for “Metallica’s Lowest-Selling Release Ever.” So, uh. Yeah.

According to Metal Injection, Loutallica’s abysmal Lulu, easily one of the most reviled and made-fun-of albums of the century (if not ever), has sold 33,000 copies in the United States since its 2011 release:

“To put it in perspective, Metallica’s last official release, Death Magnetic sold just under 500k copies in its first week alone. The generally panned St. Anger sold 418k in it’s first week.”

In fact, The Black Album probably sold 33,000 copies just while I’ve been typing this. I mean, I’m exaggerating, obviously, but at the rate The Black Album continues to sell, it moves as many units as Lulu approximately every four months. Oy. I guess people just aren’t interested in James Hetfield as a table.

Still, there’s a silver lining: Metallica’s shitty 3D movie is no longer the least-successful project with which they’ve ever been involved.