This is What The Smashing Pumpkins Sound Like with Tommy Lee on Drums

In 1994, the concept of Methods of Mayhem’s Tommy Lee playing on a Smashing Pumpkins album would have been unthinkable; in 2014, that concept as real as Lee’s schlong is long. In May, the band announced that Lee would play drums on “all nine songs” of their upcoming album, Monument To An Elegy, and now the first single from that album, “One and All,” has been released, so we can all learn what The Smashing Crüe sounds like.

SPOILER ALERT: Pretty boring, as you might expect give that Billy Corgan hasn’t come within a hundred yards of a good song since Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I mean, it’s less boring than anything I’ve heard from Corgan in some time (and, full disclosure, I haven’t listened to anything he’s done since 2007’s excruciatingly mediocre Zeitgeist), but that’s like saying Pamela Anderson’s tits are less fake than Wendy Whoppers’. The bar over which one has to jump for such an achievement is currently being used for the final rounds of a limbo game being played by some particularly limber folks. Little wonder that my mind keeps playing tricks on me: every time Corgan sings “One and all,” my ears hear “One and done.”

Monument To An Elegy is out December 9, just in time for you to not buy it for anyone for Christmas.