Gene Simmons Advises Immigrants to Learn English, Does Not Know English

I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to spend less time shooting the fish in a barrel that are crazy aging rock stars, but sometimes I read something and I feel like I just HAVE to point out how incredibly fucking dumb it is. In this case, the following quote from KISS bassist/Minister of Finance, Gene Simmons:

“I’m actually saying the thing that needs to be said because the politically correct climate is bullshit, you don’t want to upset anybody by saying, ‘Learn to speak goddamn English.’ So, as an immigrant, I’m telling you: learn to speak goddamn English. It is the key that will unlock the keys to the kingdom.”

I’m not offended that Simmons advised immigrants to learn the most-spoken language of the country to which they have immigrated; if nothing else, it will make their lives easier.

I am offended by Simmons’ advising immigrants to learn to speak English when, by all appearances, Simmons cannot speak English. Again:

“So, as an immigrant, I’m telling you: learn to speak goddamn English. It is the key that will unlock the keys to the kingdom.”

Learning to speak English, according to Simmons, is the key that will unlock… another set of keys.

…

Seriously, bruh?

I guess it’s possible Simmons meant exactly what he said, and meant the incredibly ineloquent phrase as a way of saying “Learning English is the first step on the path to success.” But if I were a betting man, I’d wager that Simmons is just a dolt who has about as much right to tell people to learn English as this guy does to teach people about guns:

[via WWTDD]