Mastodon Made the Crappiest Mirror Ever

Spoiled ungrateful little brats don’t buy CDs, they steal all their music from the internet, so now bands hafta include extra shit with their albums to try and get people to actually pay for the fucking things. It’s totally fucked, but for those of us who still buy CDs (THEY WILL NEVER DIE), it’s kinda great, because we also get bonus shit with our CDs.

So I was excited to see what Mastodon would be offering with their new album, Once More ‘Round the Sun… and then I read about it on Metal Insider.

It’s called “The Prehistoric Chopper Mirror.” Doing a mirror… now that’s a new idea. But how do you make a mirror metal and not just totally girly and shit? You give it some kinda wicked cool looking frame or something, right? That was my guess, anyway. But that ain’t what Mastodon did. What Mastodon did was make a mirror that’s only 6” x 7” and looks like this:
What is the fuckin’ point of that? It’s too small to serve any real purpose except for you to give it your chick so she can carry it around in her purse and check her make-up and all that stuff, but it wouldn’t even really work, because they put that design on it. Don’t get me wrong, I think the design looks great, I’d love to have it on a shirt. But on a shirt?

So “The Prehistoric Chopper Mirror” is small and can’t be used to see your reflection. What the hell do these schnooks expect us to do with it??? What a rip-off.