The 66.6 Most Metal Movie Scenes of All Time: 66.6 through 60
On June 9th, independent heavy metal book publisher Bazillion Points will release Heavy Metal Movies, the ultimate guidebook to the complete molten musical cinema experience that features lavish illustrations and more than 666 of the most metallic movie moments of all time.
To celebrate, we’ve partnered with the book’s author, Mike “McBeardo” McPadden, to count down the 66.6 most metal movie scenes of all time right here on MetalSucks! Every other day through the book’s release on June 9th we’ll be revealing Mike’s picks along with brief write-ups penned by the author himself.
So sit back and let’s get to counting. Today we start with #66.6 and take you through the 60th most metal movie scene of all time!
66.6. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
• Supremo stoner Jeff Spicoli, who we see literally bang his head with a Vans slip-on, goes on to save Brooke Shields from drowning and spends the reward money on hiring Van Halen to play his birthday bash. This totally awesome interlude only earns a “point six” pedigree because we don’t get to actually see the resulting VH blowout.
66. Hardware (1990)
• Lemmy pilots a water taxi.
Like everything else he instantly metallicizes, Motörhead maven Lemmy Kilmister automatically improves any movie in which he appears. The top-notch 2010 documentary Lemmy is an obvious must-see, but also check out Meister Kilmister’s turn as a party rocker in Eat the Rich (1987), the narrator of Tromeo and Juliet (1996), and as the ferryman of an Australian city canal in this apocalyptic sci-fi splatter horror. Upon picking up a fare in his speedboat, Lemmy catches “Ace of Spades” on the radio, and cranks it up. Naturally.
65. Foxes (1980)
• All the chicks at have fits for Punky’s whips.
Foxes is a gnarly, up-close, of-the-moment snapshot of L.A. teens neglected by narcissistic “Me Generation” parents and left to flail on their own in the passing cultural nadir between disco, punk, and metal. Jodie Foster stars and Runaways vocalist Cherie Currie ably plays the problem child. The one respite in their bummer struggles beyond cheap weed and shoplifted wine is a concert by Angel, Casablanca Records’ flipside ethereal metal act to fire-and-blood-spitting label-mates Kiss. The girls share a case of the vapors when flaxen frontman (and Frank Zappa song punchline) Punky Meadows serenades them with the movie’s theme, “Twentieth Century Foxes.” You’ll know how they feel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3vvx2z54io#t=1959
64. Musical Mutiny (1970)
• Inna Gadda da Cotton Candy and Bumper Cars, baby
Florida schlock-movie kingpin Barry Mahon alternated between bizarre cheapo kiddie movies (Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny) and softcore sexploitation (Fanny Hill Meets Dr. Erotico). Musical Mutiny is Mahon’s attempt to crack the acid rock market. After a goof-wad buccaneer waddles in from the sea outside the Pirate’s World amusement park, he calls for a psychedelic revolution and, just like that, Iron Butterfly jams “Inna Gadda da Vida” on stage between the rides and attractions and even the squares in line for churros and the Ferris wheel dig the groove.
63. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (2007)
• Mastodon bum-rushes the warm-up cartoon.
The big-screen incarnation of Adult Swim’s supreme animated expression of cannabis comedy kicks off with an innocent “Let’s All Go to the Lobby” cartoon in which a smiling popcorn box, hot dog, ice cream pop, and soda cup sing of concession stand pleasures. They get violently usurped by a bod-mod-heavy rock combo of a nacho, a bon bon, a pretzel, and a candy box that launch into a savage etiquette lesson by Mastodon titled, “Cut You With a Linoleum Knife.”
62. Beware of Mr. Baker (2012)
• The title subject introduces himself by breaking the director’s nose.
The documentary Beware of Mr. Baker is named for a sign on the outskirts of an African estate owned by Ginger Baker, legendary drummer for proto-metal gods Cream and rock-and-roll hothead without peer. The action opens with Baker verbally barnstorming director Jay Bulger with the vow, “I’ll put you in hospital!” and then doing just that — slamming his cane with full-blown drummer’s force smack into the center of the filmmaker’s face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKy2nf2nISU#t=101
61. Dream Deceivers (1992)
• Rob Halford rocks a court order
The hour-long documentary Dream Deceivers tracks Judas Priest members Rob Halford and K.K. Downing during a 1990 Reno, Nevada trial over alleged backward messages on the band’s song, “Better by You, Better Than Me.” At issue was an attempted double shotgun suicide that was survived by one shooter who claimed the record instructed him to “Do it! Do it!” On the witness stand, vocalist Halford points out that if Priest were to incorporate subliminal messages, and if they worked, they’d say, “Buy more Judas Priest albums.” The unamused judge orders Halford to sing several bars of “Better by You” on the spot and the singer obliges, rockingly.
60. American Movie (1999)
• Any/every second with Mike Schanck.
The center of the documentary American Movie is lanky, longhaired, enjoyably loudmouthed horror filmmaker Mark Borchardt, but its soul is his best friend, the soft-spoken, teddy-bear-built, perhaps less-than-swift amateur metal guitarist Mike Schanck. Whenever the mustachioed Schank appears on screen, the compassion and camaraderie of heavy metal brotherhood transmits through his innate sweetness and boundless love for hard rock and scary movies.
