This Tour Sounds Like My Worst Nightmare

If you rooted around in my subconscious, Inception-style, looking for a way to horrify me beyond words, you could not do much better than to create The Civil Unrest Tour.

The trek — so named because of the protests and rioting it will most surely incite — will be headlined by Wayne Static, performing Noxious Cheese Journey or whatever it’s called in its entirety, and will feature support from Otep, Dope, Smile Empty Soul, and Thira. (I actually didn’t know Thira before this tour was announced, but I checked — they’re appropriately awful. As far as I can tell, their biggest influences are the first American Head Charge album and Pro Tools.) Sweet Dio in Heaven, that is a horrendous bill. You might as pay to bed fed a box full of laxatives and then made to watch a sixth grade talent show while not being allowed to take a bathroom break. Actually, at leas that would be a challenge. I don’t know what the challenge would be if you went to The Civil Unrest Tour. Not deliberately laying down in the mosh pit and waiting for the sweet release of death?

Dates are below via The PRP. Gather your loved ones and flee now.

05/08 Fresno, CA – Strummer’s
05/09 Las Vegas, NV – Hard Rock Casino
05/10 Sacramento, CA – Ace Of Spades
05/11 Chico, CA – El Rey Theater (no Otep)
05/12 Seattle, WA – Studio Seven
05/13 Portland, OR – Hawthorne Theatre
05/14 Butte, MY – MAC Center
05/15 Spokane, WA – Club 412
05/16 Missoula, MT – The Wilma Theatre
05/20 Pomona, CA – The Glass House (no Otep)