Candi Spitz Won’t Swallow

Another rock n’ roll romance bites the dust.

Former Anthrax guitarist Dan Spitz “and his socialite wife,” Candi, are getting a divorce, according to this gossip website run by some dude who has a very loose definition of the term “socialite.” The site also notes that the filing comes “three months to the day” after Spitz was arrested on charges of domestic violence, because that’s a funny coincidence into which stupid people might read some deeper meaning. (The charges were eventually dropped anyway.)

Asked for the cause of the split, the soon-to-be-former Ms. Spitz tells the gossip columnist that “life is too short.” Oh, real mature, Candi. Make a joke about your ex’s height. So tasteless.

No word on whether or not vaccines are to blame for the failed romance.