Conquer Divide’s Name Makes No Sense

Earlier today, Sergeant D.’s Stuff You Will Hate ran a piece of Conquer Divide, who they assert is “the world’s first all-female scenecore band” (their album debut album was produced by Joey Sturgis of Asking Alexandria/Attila/Emmure/Born of Osiris fame, for extra scenecore-cred). As you can probably guess, the band is terrible, regardless of what chromosomes the groups members do or do not possess. And they’re not even terrible in an especially interesting or funny way. They’re just plain ol’ regular terrible. I’m sure they’re gonna be massive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5N6EOKGPgTA

Now, here’s what does pique my curiosity about the band: what the sweet fuckity fucking fuck does their name mean? The traditional expression is “divide and conquer,” which means — duh — that it’s easier to defeat an enemy once that enemy’s forces have been broken down into smaller, more easily-overtaken units. But the name “Conquer Divide” (why is everyone in metal so opposed to using commas???) suggests that the order be reversed — that one’s enemy should be conquered, and then segregated into smaller groups. (Y’know, like how the Nazis took over various countries and then sent the Jews to camps. And before anyone freaks out: I’m not saying Conquer Divide are Nazis. I’m just using an obvious example with which we are all familiar in order to make my point.) Are the members of Conquer Divide attempting to imply that they like the challenge of defeating the largest group of adversaries possible, and then humiliating those adversaries by splitting them off into various divisions? Maybe what they really mean is “Conquer the Divide” — y’know, that they’re uniters, not dividers.

Or maybe their horrible taste in horrible music just speaks to a general lack of good taste, and they chose a terrible band name because it sounded cool without giving any real thought to what that name means. That’s probably what actually happened.

Yup. This is the kinda shit I think about.