Motionless in White Drummer Quits Band; President Obama Declares a National State of Emergency

Motionless in White drummer Brandon Richter shocked the world today when he announced that he was leaving the band. Said Richter via a statement released to CNN:

“I’m announcing sadly I won’t be apart of MIW anymore. I won’t go into great detail to as why I chose to leave the band. What I would like to say tho is I’m extremely grateful to have been able to play music for all of you and meet and interact with so many amazing people. To the fans I have made I hope u continue to support me through my newly made changes and see what I do next! I am and will ALWAYS be here for all of you!! I am sorry for those who were wanting to see me perform in Australia and Warped but you have not seen the end of me. Bigger things are ahead and life chose to take me down a different path. Thank you again for all of you awesome fans and your support.”

Unsurprisingly, the outpouring of grief has been momentous:

In response to the crisis, President Barack Obama has temporarily suspended all trading on the NASDAQ and dispersed FEMA to shopping malls across the nation. Meanwhile, police have already reported rioting in trailer parks near the town of Sanford, Florida. High-ranking sources within the White House say President Obama is considering declaring a state of martial law, but MetalSucks was unable to confirm this at the time of press.

We’ll continue to update this post with more news throughout the day. In the meantime, we strongly suggest you stay in your homes unless you absolutely must go outside, at least until our government gets the situation under control.

[via Lambgoat]